Diary of a Real Mama

One mom's endeavour to become an authentic woman of God

Finding Rest

on February 28, 2015

I knew that once I entered mommyhood I would say goodbye to the kind of sleep I used to enjoy. No more going to bed whenever I wanted and staying there until whenever I decided to get up the next morning. I knew sleep deprivation would come with the territory, but I did not sign up for this! Between the frequent feedings in the beginning to endless months of teething trouble with a generous sprinkling of colds and fevers throughout, the twins are 20 months old and just now starting to sleep through the night (and not that consistently either). And don’t even get me started on ‘naps’! Believe me when I tell you I would give just about anything for eight straight hours of sleep. I am T.I.R.E.D. The forgetting to go to doctor’s appointments, almost brushing your teeth with cocoa butter, trying to microwave your coffee in the cupboard kind of tired. It’s taking its toll. Needless to say, you can understand why the topic of rest has been on my mind.

Naturally, my interest was piqued when I read Matthew 11:28 which says “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Weary? Check. Burdened? Check.  But when I paused to really let this crystallize, it dawned on me that my desperate pursuit of rest has been unsuccessful because I was overlooking the first part of the statement: Come to me.  I’ll be honest; at the end of a long day looking after two rambunctious toddlers, often the last thing I feel like doing is cracking open my Bible. I just want to crawl under the covers and try to get a few moments of sleep before being woken up again. But the Lord has been teaching me that even more than physical rest, what I’m really craving is soul-rest. Freedom from all that wearies and troubles me. Like whether I’m getting this whole mommy thing right. And I’ll never find that kind of liberation in a taking a long nap, or pursuing a hobby, or going on a vacation.  Psalm 62:5 says “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” Putting my hope in anything but God will only lead to more weariness, because everything else ultimately disappoints. It is He alone that never lets us down because He never changes and He always keeps His promises (Hebrews 13:8, Numbers 23:19).

I still don’t always feel like doing it, but I have noticed the most amazing thing. The more time I spend with Him, the less rest-less I feel. Less anxious, edgy, fretful. More peaceful, stable, settled. That solid eight hours might be just around the corner, or it could be many more months down the road. But for now, this weary mama is finding rest in the hope that if I draw near to Him, He promises to draw near to me. It’s true. And it’s actually even better than sleep.


2 responses to “Finding Rest

  1. Marilyn Mills says:

    Beautifully written my dear. So proud of you for seeking the most important things first. And as for the whole mommy thing, you are doing it right!

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